So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Its about making memories worth repressing
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
