Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize