In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
