Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
where are you?
Hypothermia
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
