Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Randomize
