Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Randomize