After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
