Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
