He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
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