Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
