grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
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