ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
He shit in the fireplace
Randomize
