Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Randomize
