thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
where are my eyebrows?
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
