if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
i black out too much to be "responsible"
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Randomize
