I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
