yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
