So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
