It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
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