If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Randomize
