One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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