it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
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