Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
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