Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
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