Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
Randomize