To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
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