Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
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