i dedicated my morning wood to you.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
