i jhust puked up my retainher.
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Randomize
