I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
