i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
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