I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
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