Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
i out mim tonsoeep
Randomize
