Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
It's Friday. Sex?
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
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