That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
