i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
