Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
last night I used snow as a chaser
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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