He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
worst night to have a conscience
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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