Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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