ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
She even gives head with a lisp.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Randomize
