also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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