i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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