Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Randomize
