Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
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