My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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