chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
