Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
