i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I need water and some morals
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
