I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Randomize
