If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Randomize
