distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
