just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
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