Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
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