I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
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