There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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