I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
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