ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Randomize
