he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
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