Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
