I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
