I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
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