She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Randomize
