Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
