my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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