He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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