My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize