i barfeds in our rink
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
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