I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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