My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
